What might be a good first step to overcome destructive shyness? For me it was getting to know myself. I’d never done that, but when I was 42 and saw a psychologist, she said that I wasn’t well developed and had to go through adolescence! She recommended that I meditate on a regular basis about myself and how I relate to the world. Finally, and I describe it all Brave in the chapter Counsel and Epiphany, a voice from without told me that I was a part of universal love—that I belonged to the world. This calmed down my fears of people significantly, allowing me some peace and calm, enabling me to look at myself, to learn who I was. I asked myself questions such as: what activites do I like, who do I like, who and what do I dislike, what do I want to achieve, what are my goals, what do I talk about to people, who are my friends, what are my values, what do I want from people, how do I dress, what do I look like…. I wrote down as much as I could. I did this exercise several times over several months. Finally, I a person emerged, Me. It was pretty, pretty amazing. I was paying attention to myself! I was worthy of my attention! I was a worthwhile person! Whew, what a glorious first step. It’d be hard to find a more worthwhile endeavor.
Testing captcha
again
What activities do I like?
When I was living the single life after my divorce I met a woman who said to me, “you are Renaissance man.” I took this as a compliment send it however I’m not sure that the virtue is necessarily of good one because I have always had this feeling that I am “a jack of all trades and a master of none.” so I want to take a look at the activities that I like to see whether this concern that I have is legitimate.
Although the past is prologue I believe that it is most helpful to focus on the present and that is what I will do.
I like the following activities: (The order of activities mentioned does not indicate which is my favorite or favorites and I will address this later).
Spending time with Lenore and talking with her about our mutual interests and the stuff of our life that we need to deal with.
Playing chess.
Watching movies.
Going to the theater.
Bicycle riding through the beautiful Springs section of East Hampton.
Practicing yoga.
Sailing in and around Gardners Bay.
Walking the streets of New York City.
Taking photographs.
Eating at restaurants alone with Lenore and with friends.
Having friends to our home in East Hampton and visiting friends in their homes.
Spending time at our home in East Hampton.
Talking with people about life and particularly about politics.
Reading the New York Times including editorial and op-ed articles, financial articles in the business section of the Sunday Times, news articles and reviews of plays and articles about the actors writers and directors associated with plays.
Living in San Miguel de Allende Mexico and at the beach in Oaxaca Mexico.
Attending writing classes and authors readings.
Watching the final matches of the various grand slam tennis competitions.
Listening to classical and jazz music both live and on the radio.
Writing –e-mails, short stories, my novel, essays and plays.
Overseeing our beautiful home in East Hampton.
Decorating our house and apartment.
Managing our financial assets.
Traveling (I don’t consider being in Mexico traveling in the pure sense since we spend 2 1/2 to 3 months in Mexico each year, although it qualifies to the extent that being away from the area of the world that I have lived in all my life, the New York metropolitan area, is stimulating.
Talking with my son Keith.
Spending time with my grand children and grandnieces.
Making love (having sex) with my wife whom I adore more than ever.
Being with people and sharing the things I like to do when that is possible.
I am now going to take a breather from listing all of the activities that I like which of course encompass what I do In an with my life. What I want to do is pause and reflect on what I have written to decide whether it is important to prioritize or express which of my interests or activities I enjoy the most and take a look at how I organize my time so as to include what is I like to do. Then perhaps I will return to what I have expressed to see how I can improve my level of happiness day in and day out.
Hi David,
You sure have an active life. You are good with words and thoughts and your enthusiasm in your search to get to know yourself will help you to make good progress. Focus on getting to know yourself. Who you are. Your values. Strive to understand what you really like, why you like it, who you really like, why you like them. Keep track of all that which is you. Include your goals. What are the most important parts of your life? Enlarge upon them. What could you not do without? Why not?
Helen
What activities do I like?
When I was living the single life after my divorce I met a woman who said to me, “you are Renaissance man.” I took this as a compliment send it however I’m not sure that the virtue is necessarily of good one because I have always had this feeling that I am “a jack of all trades and a master of none.” so I want to take a look at the activities that I like to see whether this concern that I have is legitimate.
Although the past is prologue I believe that it is most helpful to focus on the present and that is what I will do.
I like the following activities: (The order of activities mentioned does not indicate which is my favorite or favorites and I will address this later).
Spending time with Lenore and talking with her about our mutual interests and the stuff of our life that we need to deal with.
Playing chess.
Watching movies.
Going to the theater.
Bicycle riding through the beautiful Springs section of East Hampton.
Practicing yoga.
Sailing in and around Gardners Bay.
Walking the streets of New York City.
Taking photographs.
Eating at restaurants alone with Lenore and with friends.
Having friends to our home in East Hampton and visiting friends in their homes.
Spending time at our home in East Hampton.
Talking with people about life and particularly about politics.
Reading the New York Times including editorial and op-ed articles, financial articles in the business section of the Sunday Times, news articles and reviews of plays and articles about the actors writers and directors associated with plays.
Living in San Miguel de Allende Mexico and at the beach in Oaxaca Mexico.
Attending writing classes and authors readings.
Watching the final matches of the various grand slam tennis competitions.
Listening to classical and jazz music both live and on the radio.
Writing –e-mails, short stories, my novel, essays and plays.
Overseeing our beautiful home in East Hampton.
Decorating our house and apartment.
Managing our financial assets.
Traveling (I don’t consider being in Mexico traveling in the pure sense since we spend 2 1/2 to 3 months in Mexico each year, although it qualifies to the extent that being away from the area of the world that I have lived in all my life, the New York metropolitan area, is stimulating.
Talking with my son Keith.
Spending time with my grand children and grandnieces.
Making love (having sex) with my wife whom I adore more than ever.
Being with people and sharing the things I like to do when that is possible.
I am now going to take a breather from listing all of the activities that I like which of course encompass what I do In an with my life. What I want to do is pause and reflect on what I have written to decide whether it is important to prioritize or express which of my interests or activities I enjoy the most and take a look at how I organize my time so as to include what is I like to do. Then perhaps I will return to what I have expressed to see how I can improve my level of happiness day in and day out.