Who hasn’t felt shy at some point? The vast majority have. It is somewhat safe to presume that, since they’ve experienced it, they think they know what it is and how to overcome it. People especially report feeling shy at a party or before giving a speech. The latter would be more appropriately called stage fright. And, well, parties, well, they are something else. Mainly they are for extroverts and many introverts, not just shy people, would just as soon stay away from them.

What about a person who is closeted by shyness all day, everyday? That condition is extremely different from the above two circumstances. In fact, the world renown shyness expert, our own honorary advisory board member, Dr. Philip Zimbardo, says this: “The shy person builds walls around themselves which acts like a prison and they become their own jailor.” Can anyone honestly say the two types of shyness are one and the same?

Wikipedia says, “A disorder is a functional abnormality or disturbance. Medical disorders can be categorized into mental disorders, physical disorders, genetic disorders, emotional and behavioral disorders, and functional disorders. The term disorder is often considered[by whom?] more value-neutral and less stigmatizing than the terms disease or illness, and therefore is a preferred terminology in some circumstances. In mental health, the term mental disorder is used as a way of acknowledging the complex interaction of biological, social, and psychological factors in psychiatric conditions.”

A distant cousin of severe shyness is social anxiety disorder. The Manual for Diagnostic Statistics lists severe shyness as a symptom of social anxiety. The number of physical symptoms and descriptions of phobias connected with social anxiety do not fit the shy: they seldom suffer from physical symptoms or phobias.

Nevertheless, sometimes I have seen heated discussions online about the difference between the two. I have heard an “expert” tell me that shyness is situational. Again this is more akin to social anxiety and phobias: for example, being in an elevator, in an airplane, on a busy highway or with crowds can produce phobic reactions. For me, shyness was more 24/7: I worried about its effect on me constantly.

And so, with the nod of Dr. Zimbardo, I now refer to severe shyness as severe shyness disorder. I hope it will give people cause to pause and ponder their preconceptions of shyness. The need to educate people about the little known cousin social anxiety is all too obvious. Shyness can grow to consume and render people helpless.